After childbirth, the first nights in the hospital can be a blur of exhaustion, pain, and overwhelming emotions. Nurses come in and out, checking vitals, pressing on your stomach to ensure your uterus is contracting, and helping with your newborn’s first feeds. You may barely sleep, caught between the discomfort of postpartum recovery, the worry about a lack of motherly instinct, and the constant need to tend to your baby.

Your body is in recovery mode, whether from a vaginal birth or a C-section, everything feels sore and foreign. The hormonal shifts are intense, leading to unexpected tears and waves of emotion. The realization that you are now responsible for a tiny human can feel both exhilarating and terrifying.

I remember the first night.

I couldn’t overcome the fleeting worry of not being good enough for my son. I had this thought that he would hate me, that I wouldn’t know how to be a mom. I told my husband multiple times that I felt like a teen mom, like I wasn’t old enough to be raising a child despite being 28.

I remember not sleeping that first night.

I stayed up for the entire night and convinced my husband we should sleep in shifts in case our son stopped breathing. I thought that as long as one of us was awake, we’d be able to make sure he stayed alive. We both fell asleep nearly the minute the lights turned off….and he lived.

I remember feeling as though I needed to learn everything in 72 hours.

Because I had a C-section, we remained in the hospital for 72 hours. I had him on a Wednesday, we discharged on a Saturday. That 72 hours felt like a death sentence. I was petrified that I wouldn’t know a single thing. I had no clue that you could “learn as you go” with parenting. I read every book, every article, every tiktok, every Instagram post, literally every little resources possible because I felt like if I didn’t know exactly how to take care of my son within 72 hours, they’d take him from me.

Despite the exhaustion, the fear, and the anxiety, there are also magical moments in those first nights, your baby’s tiny fingers grasping yours, the first look into your eyes, and the way they recognize your voice and scent. These moments, though fleeting, make the sleepless nights worthwhile.